Flat Belly Detox
Every day I woke up was the worst day of my life.
I would come home from school, run into the bathroom, lock the door, and just stare in the mirror asking why
Why did I have to look the way I did
Why did the other kids have to be so cruel
And even then, long before high school, I sometimes thought about ending it.
I thought about it more than once
I figured if I wasn’t here, then I wouldn’t have to feel the pain anymore.
And although I never acted on those thoughts, I always wondered why being overweight caused everyone to be so mean
The years passed and I kept getting bigger
The weight seemed to keep piling on
I would eat to distract myself from the pain I was feeling
The pain of being made fun of everyday
The pain of not having many friends
The pain of getting shoved to the ground or things thrown at me as I walked by.
Looking back, the worst day of my life was when I started middle school.
I was actually excited, thinking it would be a fresh start.
I thought if I was friendly and nice to people, they wouldn’t pick on me so much.
Sadly, those dreams didn’t last long.
Flat Belly Detox
I remember waking up, trying to find something to wear
This was always the worst part of the morning for me, because none of my clothes EVER fit
I had to suck in just to pull up and button my jeans
My shirts were always skin tight, not because I wanted them to be, simply because I was so overweight.
My shirts would cling to my body and really show my shape, which is exactly what I was trying to hide whenever I left the house.
It was like going swimming in a t-shirt, nothing was left to the imagination.
Then I would head to the bathroom, brush my teeth, and stare at my double chin and fat cheeks.
It was a horrible daily remember of how fat I was.
If I could, I would have gotten rid of every single mirror in that house.
That morning I went to the bus stop, still clinging to the hope that going to a new school would be different
Maybe a few more people would accept me.
Maybe I’d find a few friends to sit with at lunch
Maybe someone would even let me sit with them on the bus
Yet, when the bus arrived, I quickly realized that nothing was going to change.